Grief is experienced by many. When we think of the situations involving grief many of us think of a lost grandparent or parent. But, there are instances of people losing the younger loved ones in their life as well. As with any grief, losing a child is so difficult it can barely be put into words.
July, National Bereaved Parents Awareness Month, is dedicated to “a parent’s journey through bereavement after the loss of a child”.

Losing a child is an unimaginable and heartbreaking experience that no parent should ever have to endure. The journey of grief that follows can be overwhelming, isolating, and filled with emotions that are new. As a bereaved parents, you might find yourself grappling with profound sadness, anger, confusion, or an aching sense of loss.
This guide is designed to offer a helping hand during this incredibly difficult time. We understand that grief is deeply personal and that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing. Our goal is to provide you with practical advice, emotional support, and a sense of community as you move through your unique grief journey. Here, you'll find coping strategies, ways to honor your child's memory, and guidance on how to handle the challenges that arise along the way.
If you or a loved one find this guide helpful, consider donating to Hospice of the Fisher Home. We provide compassionate care for the terminally-ill and offer continued bereavement support to the loved ones of our patients.
Understanding Grief
Grief is a profound and multifaceted response to loss. As a bereaved parent, your grief may encompass a wide range of emotions and physical reactions, all of which are valid and normal. Understanding the nature of grief can help you make sense of your experience and remind you that you are not alone in your feelings.
Grief is not a linear process. It can come in waves, sometimes feeling manageable and at other times overwhelming. The intensity of your grief may fluctuate, influenced by various triggers such as anniversaries, birthdays, or unexpected reminders of your child.
Common manifestations of grief include:
Emotional Reactions: You may experience a whirlwind of emotions, including deep sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, and even moments of relief or numbness. It's important to acknowledge and accept these emotions without judgment.
Physical Symptoms: Grief can take a toll on your body, leading to symptoms like fatigue, headaches, changes in appetite, and difficulty sleeping. Taking care of your physical health is crucial during this time.
Cognitive Effects: You might find it hard to concentrate, make decisions, or remember things. This cognitive fog is a common part of the grieving process.
Behavioral Changes: Changes in your daily routines, social interactions, and interests are normal. You may feel withdrawn or find it difficult to engage in activities that once brought you joy.
Coping Strategies for Bereaved Parents
Coping with the loss of a child is an incredibly personal journey, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's essential to find strategies that resonate with you and offer some measure of comfort and support. Here are a few coping strategies to consider as you navigate your grief.
Seek Support
Surround yourself with loved ones who can offer emotional support, listen without judgment, and provide a shoulder to lean on. Don’t be afraid to reach out and let them know what you need, whether it’s a listening ear, practical help, or simply their presence. Joining a support group for bereaved parents can provide a sense of community and understanding. Sharing your story with others who have experienced similar losses can be incredibly healing and affirming. If in-person support groups are not accessible, consider online forums and social media groups dedicated to bereaved parents.
Additionally, seeking the support of a professional therapist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to explore your grief and develop coping strategies. Therapists specializing in grief and loss can offer valuable insights and guidance tailored to your needs. Some therapists focus specifically on grief counseling, which can be particularly beneficial for bereaved parents. They can help you navigate the unique challenges of parental grief and find ways to honor your child’s memory while moving forward.
Practice Self-Care
Grief can take a toll on your body, so it’s important to prioritize your physical well-being. Aim for a balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep. Gentle activities like walking, yoga, or swimming can help reduce stress and improve your overall health. Practices like mindfulness and meditation can help you stay grounded in the present moment and manage overwhelming emotions. Even a few minutes of deep breathing or guided meditation each day can make a difference. Engaging in creative activities such as writing, painting, or playing music can provide an outlet for your emotions. Expressing your grief through art can be a powerful way to process your feelings and find moments of peace. Writing about your thoughts and emotions can be a therapeutic way to work through your grief. You might write letters to your child, record your memories, or simply document your day-to-day experiences.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions, whatever they may be. Cry when you need to, shout if you feel the need, and give yourself permission to grieve openly and honestly. Grieving is a long and often unpredictable process. Be patient with yourself and understand that healing takes time. There will be good days and bad days, and it’s important to give yourself grace during this journey.
Honoring Your Child’s Memory
Honoring your child’s memory is a deeply personal way to express your grief. Finding ways to celebrate their life and keep their memory alive can provide comfort and a sense of connection. Here are some ideas to consider:
Create a Memorial - Creating a memorial can be a powerful way to honor your child's memory. This could be a physical space, such as a garden, a bench, or a special room in your home where you can reflect and remember. You might also consider a virtual memorial, such as a dedicated website or social media page where friends and family can share memories, photos, and messages.
Celebrate when you can - Continuing to celebrate your child's birthdays and significant anniversaries can help keep their memory alive. You might choose to have a family gathering, light a candle, release balloons, or plant a tree in their honor. These rituals can provide a sense of continuity and a way to acknowledge the ongoing significance of your child's life.
Get the words out - Writing about your child and sharing their story can be a cathartic and meaningful way to honor their memory. You might write letters to your child, create a blog, or even publish a book about their life and your experiences. Sharing stories with friends, family, and support groups can also help keep their memory alive and ensure their legacy is remembered. Events like "Healing Waters" are great for sharing and listening to stories. Watch part of it here.
Create Keepsakes - Creating keepsakes can be a tangible way to remember your child. This might include making a scrapbook, photo album, or memory box filled with mementos such as photos, letters, and personal items. These keepsakes can serve as cherished reminders of your child's life and the love you shared.
Create art - Art can be a powerful medium for expressing grief and honoring your child. You might create paintings, sculptures, or other forms of art that reflect your child's personality and your memories of them. Participating in art therapy or community art projects can also provide a supportive and creative outlet for your emotions.
Handling Difficult Days
Difficult days are bound to happen throughout the grieving process. These days, often marked by anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, or unexpected reminders, can be challenging to navigate. One way to manage these tough times is to plan ahead. Anticipating difficult days and deciding in advance how you would like to spend them can provide a sense of control and readiness. You might choose to be with supportive family and friends, engage in a meaningful activity, or take time for quiet reflection. Having a plan can help reduce anxiety and provide a sense of purpose.
It's important to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise on these difficult days. Allow yourself to cry, talk about your child, or express your emotions in a way that feels right for you. Suppressing these feelings can make them harder to manage in the long run.
Creating new traditions that honor your child and provide a sense of comfort can be particularly meaningful. This might be something you do every year on their birthday or during the holidays. New traditions can help create a sense of continuity and purpose, allowing you to remember your child in a positive and meaningful way. Engaging in meaningful activities that give you a sense of purpose and connection can also be helpful. This could include volunteering, participating in a charity event, or engaging in a hobby that you and your child enjoyed together. These activities can provide a sense of fulfillment and a way to channel your grief into something positive.
On the hardest days, it can be helpful to take things one moment at a time. Focus on small, manageable tasks and be gentle with yourself. It's okay to scale back your expectations and give yourself the space to grieve. Sometimes, just getting through the day is an accomplishment. If possible, try to limit additional stressors on difficult days. This might mean taking a day off work, postponing non-essential tasks, or asking for help with daily responsibilities. Reducing external pressures can help you focus on your emotional needs.
Remember, it's okay to lean on others and take care of yourself as you continue to honor your child's memory and move forward in your grief journey.
If you are in the Western Massachusetts area with a loved one that requires hospice care, Hospice of the Fisher Home provides both in-residence or at-home (or wherever you reside) care through our community program. Contact us to find out more.
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